I Can't Think Straight
by SleepyWriter08
Summary: Just don’t expect me to come running when every guy out there wants to rape you.” Grinning, she pressed her lips against my cheek, her eyes sparkling playfully, “You wish Davies, you know you’ll always come running for me.” I own nothing but the story.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: So this story is one that's been buzzing around my head for quite a while and i know that i should be working on Maybe Someday and i am...slowly. I made it out of one writer's block and i hit a new one. I know what i want to write just not how to write it. I'm hoping to have it done soon. Let me know if i should keep this going or not. Remember to read and review!!**

There's something wrong with me.

No, I'm not going to die, but there's a feeling deep inside whenever she's near me.

She being Spencer Carlin.

Spencer Carlin being my best friend.

I talked to my boyfriend about it. Aiden thinks it's because she's been hanging out with this Nathan character so much. He thinks I'm jealous because there's another person in her life. He doesn't even know the half of it. Frankly, I don't think I want him to know any more than he does. Aiden is a sweet guy. Caring, dependable, blah, blah, blah. To tell you the truth, he bores me. He's like a best friend and I feel like we're just forcing this into a relationship.

Take now for example.

His arms are gripping tighter around my waist, pulling me even closer to his body. I wrapped my own arms instinctively around his neck, while he leaned his head to whisper sweet little nothings in my ear. I can feel his hot breath against the shell of my ear but I don't register a single word he murmurs adoringly.

Is it so bad that I am completely ignoring the guy? I don't know where my head is tonight. No, no, that's not right. I do know where it's at. I would just rather not admit it.

My best friend is running around here in something that hardly qualifies as an outfit. I still can't believe I let her out of the damn house wearing that.

_Earlier that night:_

"_Okay, this is one is perfect! Are you ready, Ash?"_

_I yelled my consent and before I knew it, she came waltzing out of my closet in something completely slutty. _

_The blond was wearing a black tank top with a white miniskirt. Her hair cascaded down in golden waves and her blue eyes twinkled as they waited for my opinion. _

_Okay, maybe slutty is a little harsh. If I had to be honest, I'd admit that Spencer Carlin looked absolutely gorgeous. But that was only if I __**had**__ to be honest. I bit my lip and decided that even though this outfit __was__ perfect for a night out on the town, it was still too revealing for my best friend to wear. _

_Smiling apologetically, I shook my head._

"_Oh come on Davies! This is the fifth outfit I've tried on already!"_

_Was it really the fifth one? Well, I could care less if it was the hundredth outfit she tried on! I'm not going to have her ravaged by all the male idiots at Ego._

"_Spencer, you're not walking out of this house half-naked and that is the end of that discussion."_

_The gorgeous blond climbed on my bed and settled in next to me. Pouting slightly, she wrapped her arms around my neck, "Ashy, please! I'm so sick and tired of changing over and over and over and over and-"_

"_Fine! Just don't expect me to come running when every guy out there wants to rape you." _

_Grinning, she pressed her lips against my cheek, her eyes sparkling playfully, "You wish Davies, you know you'll always come running for me."_

She's right, but you know it's only because I feel protective. Oh, don't you dare sit there and act like you have no clue what I'm talking about. Spencer just has this air of innocence about her and as her very best friend; I am required to uphold that innocence.

A soft tug on my hair jerks me back into the present time and I look up in the eyes of my amazing boyfriend. Alright, amazing is pushing it, but Aiden's a great guy. He's hot, I'm hot. It works very well in my opinion.

"Where's your head at tonight, Ash? You've been gazing off into space for the past fifteen minutes. Is everything okay?"

Aiden's also very caring. The guy is head over heels for me and the best part is that he and Spencer get along swimmingly.

There are two things wrong with that statement: One being that Aiden hates Spencer. He acts like a little jealous baby every time she's around. The second is the fact that I used 'swimmingly' in a sentence correctly. Damn Kyla and her stupid 'Adjective of the Day' calendar.

Shaking my head, I realize my head's in the clouds again, "Sorry, Aid. I'm just a little worried about Spence. I haven't seen her since we walked in and-"

Aiden didn't even bother letting me finish my thoughts before sighing bitterly. He dropped his arms from my waist and turned around, intent on making his way out of the crowd and away from me.

See? I told you. _Totally a jealous baby._

Thinking fast, I grabbed his hand, pulling him back against my body and pressing my lips against his, "But then again? Why worry, right? She's a big girl and I have something more important to be tending to at this very moment."

Feeling his lips curve upward against mine, I let out a mental sigh of relief, knowing that I had avoided what could have become a huge scene.

I pulled back and gave Aiden a soft smile. He really was a great guy and I could see why I kept him around. Rewrapping my arms around him, I settled my head on his shoulder, letting my eyes rake over the crowd, searching for a sign of Spencer or my geeky half-sister. Kyla holds a special place in Spencer's life. See, I'm her heart, but Kyla, well she's more like Spencer's left pinky. Not exceptionally useful but it's just weird to be without it.

Are you guys getting this?

Oh well, we have more important things to worry about at this very moment, because although I have found my sister, there is no sign of Spencer. Why worry? Well, Spencer is a tad bit naïve. She's very trusting and she takes what people tell her at face value, and I love that about her but it makes me worry. Do you know what kind of trouble she'd get in if I wasn't around to watch over her?

Yeah, it keeps me up late at night too.

I think it's time to start the search party for-

A soft hand settles on my shoulder, and I feel my skin immediately light on fire and my lips twitching upwards.

"Hey, Aiden, you wouldn't mind if I cut in for a dance with my best friend, would you?"

His mouth opened immediately to protest, but I cut him off, "Sure, Spence. Aiden, would you mind getting me something to drink. Please?"

He stared at me intently for a few seconds, and I'm sure he wanted me to know exactly what he was thinking.

Too bad I'm not a mind reader.

Aiden expelled a harsh sigh and dragged a hand through his hair, before turning towards Spencer, "Do you want anything while I'm over there?"

Shaking her head softly, she loosely wrapped her arms around my shoulders, "Thanks Aiden, but I'm fine."

He nodded curtly, glancing once more in my direction.

I gently draped my arms around her waist, and we began swaying to the music.

"He totally hates me," Spencer whispers secretly.

I leaned closer to whisper, "You totally hate him too."

"Yeah, but I have a reason."

"Oh, really? What could that reason possibly be?"

"Aiden is totally mooching on our Spashley time!"

Laughing out loud, I reached up and pinched her cheek, "Awww, Spency! Well, don't you worry because you're always going to be my number one."

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise," Holding up my smallest finger, I wiggled it in front of Spencer's face.

Chuckling softly, the blond reached up and linked her pinky with my own and squeezed it reassuringly.

"You wanna get out here?"

Shaking my head, I turn slightly so she doesn't see the amused smile threatening to make its way onto my face.

"You're ridiculous, Miss Carlin."

"I don't think I understand what you're saying, Miss Davies."

Just as I'm about to reply with something absolutely witty and sharp, an unfamiliar brunette rests a tanned manicure hand on Spencer's arm.

I glance upward, and upon seeing the dimpled smile and the twinkling eyes, I frowned.

I don't like her already.

"Sorry to interrupt," The woman's soft raspy voice washed over me and I could feel my eyes narrowing. I take back what I said about not being a mind reader. I totally know what she's thinking and I can guarantee that I don't like it one bit.

Spencer just smiles softly at the unpleasant interruption and encourages the woman to continue.

"I was wondering if you would give me the pleasure of buying you a drink," Her eyes intently focused on Spencer.

I really don't like her.

Spencer hesitated, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth before breaking out into a grin, "Sure! I'd love to!"

I'm pretty sure my mouth is wide open and that I look like a fish but at this moment I don't care. She doesn't even know this women and she's accepting a drink?

"Spencer, can I talk to you for a moment?" Like I said, it's my responsibility to keep her safe. Moving the blond a few feet away from the other woman, I sigh. I'm disappointed in her! She should know better than to accept drinks from a stranger.

"What are you doing?" The words practically hiss out of my mouth but you can't blame me, "Who is this chick and why are you going to get a drink with her?"

She blinks. That's all she does. I ask her one of the most important questions tonight and she just blinks.

Her mouth opens slowly and I lean in closer, not wanting to miss a single word of this explanation, "Ashley, I'm just going to head over to the bar and make a new friend. I'm not planning on attending an orgy or making a lesbian porn movie."

Now I'm sure I look like a fish because my mouth is opening and closing and nothing is coming out. She patted my cheek and turned to follow the mystery woman to the bar.

They're holding hands and she's leaning too close to Spencer. Can't Spencer see that the whore is obviously a lesbian? Can't that whore see that Spencer is obviously straight? I make a decision to interrupt the two just as Aiden came back with our drinks. Fate is totally against me on this. I take the drink from his hand and I down it almost immediately. I'm sure he was more than surprised when I took his drink and gulped that down even faster.

"I need another drink," I informed him as I made my way over to the bar.

"Apparently so do I," He muttered as he followed me.

Reaching the bar, I willed myself not to turn and look at Spencer and that whore.

I order three shots, passing one over to Aiden and keeping the remaining two for myself. I need them way more than he does right now. Obviously, he doesn't think so because before I can even touch the second shot, Aiden's already snatched it out of my hand.

Oh, he does not know who is messing with.

"Give that backkk," slurs out of my mouth as I reach out for the drink.

Shaking his head, he swallows it himself before gently taking a hold of my arm. He pulls me along and then it hits me. He's taking me to Spencer.

"Aidennnn, noooooo! I don't wannnnaa goo ovvverr thereee."

Wow, I'm not even sure I understood what just came out of my mouth.

"It's only going to take a minute, Ashley. Then we'll get out of here, promise."

We reach the two girls and I lean, rather fall, over Aiden's arm and whisper, "Aidennnn, I lurveeee youuu."

I'm pretty sure Spencer chuckled before taking me into her own arms, "I can take her home, Aid."

Cue the argument.

"No, I think it's okay. You can have fun with uh-"

"Brooke," the older brunette supplied with a smile.

The whore has a name! Too bad, I used to like the name Brooke. Key word in that sentence is **used to**, people.

"Oh, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Aiden."

"Pleasure."

I bet. Someone needs to tell _**Brooke**_ to get her hand off my best friend and her eyes off my man.

"Heyy Brrookee, you ssshhhuuuckkk!"

Was that me? Well, looking at the way everyone is staring at me, I'm going to assume that it was. Great, I'm no longer drunk but I am now a drunken idiot. Aiden, if you have ever loved me at any moment, you will take me home now.

Spencer stands up and positions herself on my side opposite to Aiden, "We came together, Aiden. I'll take her home."

"Spenc-"

"We live together, Aiden. There's no point in you taking her home when I'm here. Go ahead, have fun out here tonight. I'll take care of her."

I'm surprised that Aiden didn't argue but hey, I'm not one to complain.

"Fine, give me your keys and I'll take her out to the car," He surrenders, holding a hand out.

Don't you love how not once was I asked who I wanted to go home with?

Spencer hands the keys over to one of the three Aiden's holding me up and turns to Brooke, "I'm sorry to cut this short but I guess I'm going to have to go take Ashley home."

Nodding understandingly, Brooke leans towards Spencer, "Hey, I was wondering something else. Is there any way you could drop me home by any chance."

I'm pretty sure I screamed out no but by then, I'm too far from the two to hear me. I don't know what Spencer's response is, but I'm telling you, I'm probably not going to like it.

Aiden opens the back of the car, and helps situate me inside, "Ashley, I really hate your best friend."

I'm almost certain he's talking to himself, but drunk Ashley votes to give him a response, regardless of that fact.

"Thaasss okaaaay, causeee sshhe hates youuuu too. Ssso its allll goooddd."

Shaking his head, Aiden leans closer to give me a goodbye kiss. He turns around and hands the set of keys to Spencer and says his goodbyes to her and the bitch she decided to bring along.

I don't really remember the conversation in the car but I do remember pulling Brooke's hair and calling her a "bish." I think that's drunken Ashley's way of saying bitch but I couldn't tell you for sure.

After twenty agonizing minutes, we finally reach our flat and Spencer comes along my side to help me out of the car. I probably wasn't much help to her lying down, but the alcohol was definitely taking its toll on me.

Leaning almost completely on Spencer, I stumbled up to my room and began to strip down. Spencer, used to my antics, handed me a tank top and a pair of boy shorts to slip into before leaving to change herself.

After falling several times, I manage to get the clothes on the right way and I haphazardly brush my teeth. Exhausted, I collapse on my bed and worm under my covers.

My eyes feel like they're glued shut and nothing I can do to keep them open.

The blond walks back into my room, her bare feet padding across the wooden floor. Lifting the cover, the bed dips with the extra weight. Almost immediately, I'm bathed in Spencer's body heat and I groan silently. I really was hoping to go to sleep tonight.

Now my eyes won't shut and my mind won't stop racing.

All I can think about is how her body curves against mine, two parts of a whole.

All I can see is how her lips twitch upward, almost as if she's having a wonderful dream.

All I can feel is how my skin is burning deliciously with her touch, each cell blazing with life.

Damn it, Spencer.

I can't think straight when you're around.

**Leave your thoughts!**


	2. Feeling Sick

**A/N: I am so shocked at the feedback i got from all of you guys!! It was so amazingly awesome! I never thought that this idea would be so well received!!! Thank you so much, all of you! Please review and let me know what you think of this update!!! **

The incessant beeping of my alarm drilled into my head, and I shove an arm out of my warm cocoon, hoping to destroy the offending device.

I have to say I wholeheartedly believe that Spencer knows exactly what she does to me. Waking up to find her wrapped around my torso with what could very possibly be the most content and gorgeous look upon her face can lead a person to consider things like that.

After an internal debate on whether or not I should wake up the sleeping girl, I slip out of the bed quietly, careful to maneuver out of the blonde's arms so as not to wake her. My head is throbbing and I need aspirin and a steaming shower. Staying in bed was not going to make me feel any better, no matter how warm and inviting the bed seemed with Spencer in it.

I was almost out of the room when I heard the sound that always made it impossible to wake up earlier than the blond.

"Hmmm, Ashy? Why are you leaving?" Blond wisps of hair poked out from the edge of the covers.

"I'm having a killer headache and I think that our room is spinning out of control." I call over my shoulder.

"You're coming back, right?"

I cringe as the expected blow hits me.

Spencer Carlin knows what she's doing and damn, does she do it well.

I'm almost positive that she can hear my heart pounding.

I'm almost certain that she can see each small bead of sweat trailing down my skin.

I'm almost convinced that she can notice my eyes flickering between the door and the bed.

This has been happening a lot lately.

These feelings.

This nervousness.

There shouldn't be anything special to this moment. Spencer almost always sleeps with me after a night of drinking.

But it's different lately.

It _is_ special.

Lately, I get this feeling deep down in my stomach when she pulls me up against her and buries her head in the crook of my neck.

I need to stay away from her until I figure this stupid feeling out. Correction: I **needed** to stay away from her.

I say 'needed' because I'm already nodding my head and she's smiling at me through her half-lidded eyes and I feel….happy.

Damn, I really need to work on my self control and ability to just say no to that face of hers.

I have to admit though; her smiles and her glances make everything worth it.

I make my way down to our kitchen to grab a bottle of water and throw two white pills in my mouth before taking a few sips of the thirst quenching liquid. I'm at the door of my room once again as a wave of nausea overtakes me.

I really hate hangovers. You'd think that by now I would be immune to all the symptoms but nope. I still wake up with the dry throat, the splitting headaches and the-

Spencer wraps her arms around my waist and pulled me into the room. "Hey Ash, I thought you got lost. I couldn't go back to sleep without my favorite body pillow by my side."

The husky tone in her voice bathed over me and I smile involuntarily. I allow myself to be pulled back to bed and the blonde is quick to snuggle back into my side.

My fingers scratch her scalp gently and I hear the blond let out a sigh of satisfaction. I let the next few moments pass in silence before sighing deeply.

"What's up, Davies?"

"Spencer, you do know that Brooke is gay right?" There I said it. I just threw it out there. I deserve a medal for that bold action. Where's my purple heart?

I felt more than heard Spencer chuckle, "Yes, Ashley. She told me last night."

"Oh." Well, that's not what I expected.

"Ash, I really like her." She admits shyly and begins playing with the edge of my shirt.

Wait, what? I didn't hear what I thought I heard did I?

"Hold on, Spencer. You like her?" I don't think that my brain is completely registering what that might mean.

A small pause was heard before she spoke. "Yeah, I think I do. You know you should really give a chance. She's more like you than you know."

"Hmmph." Oh, you and I both know that a statement like that does not even warrant an understandable verbal response.

Spencer positions her head so that she can look straight up at me without hurting herself. "Ashley, I'm being serious! She's independent, creative, confident, and just a tad bit egotistical."

"I'm not egocentric!" I scoffed down at her. "Just because I understand how great I am doesn't make me self centered."

People sometimes!

"Uh-huh. Sure you're not." A small smirk makes its way on her lips and her eyes sparkle mischievously.

Rolling my eyes at the blond, I turned to the side and allowed her to press her body against mine once more. We've always been the more touch sort of best friends but lately I've been noticing things.

The second-to-long glances, the feather soft touches; it's all getting to me now.

I wonder how she feels about this. I mean, I want to know if she feels this too. That certain spark of electricity when our skin grazes or the waves of jealousy when we see the other with another person.

I'm certain I'm not gay.

Two years ago when I was twenty, I decided to experiment with a girl I knew. Straight or not, you could definitely appreciate her beauty. Long tanned legs, firm muscles, layered dark brown hair, and a smile that made you melt to a puddle at her feet.

It was easy to convince her to come over when Spencer wasn't home and to be honest we had a great night together. It just wasn't anything out of the ordinary, I suppose.

I looked at men after I slept with her and women as well. Neither gender seemed to be what I was looking for.

Spencer sighs into my neck and I jolt out of my thoughts. "Stop thinking so hard, Davies. I can smell your brain frying already."

I giggle softly and place my hand on top of hers, entwining our fingers together.

"Love you." The words breathed next to my ear causes my eyes to flutter shut and goose bumps to rise all over my skin.

"Love you too."

The sincerity behind out words scares me because it puts an 'almost' in a sentence that would really be better without it.

I'm **almost** certain that I'm straight.

Damn that almost.

------------

Waking up the second time was almost as bad as the first time. I was cold and my bed seemed strangely empty. Opening my eyes to find that there was no Spencer wrapped around makes me almost as nauseous as waking up with a horrible hangover.

She has always been the earlier riser between the two of us and so it shouldn't surprise me that the bed is empty.

Too bad it still does.

Groaning, I muster up all the strength in my recovering body to get out of bed and make it to the adjoining bathroom.

I brush my teeth for about ten minutes trying to get a horrible unknown taste out of my mouth before a soft knock caught my attention.

I rinse my mouth before calling out. "Come on in, Spence."

The blond poked her head through the door, keeping her eyes shut. "Are you decent?"

Smirking at the girl's antics, I answer saucily, "Absolutely not. I'm prancing around naked."

Her eyes opened immediately and if I didn't know better, I would have thought them to be of a much darker shade.

"Darn, and here I thought I was finally going to get to see you naked." The blond jokingly pouts.

Looking down at my current outfit, I snicker. "There's not too much left to the imagination, Spencer."

Shaking her head, Spencer advanced towards me and reaches over to grab a clip. Throwing her hair up in a haphazard bun, she turned to look at me.

"You feel any better than you did this morning?"

Nodding, I grinned at the younger girl. "I'm quick to recover. You should know that."

"I should but I don't. You must have forgotten that I am the person who always holds your hair back when you're puking your guts out in the toilet."

I frowned as I tried my best to recall the night before and whether or not I had felt nauseous at any point. It would most definitely explain the rusty taste in my mouth.

Laughing, Spencer shook her head. "Not last night. You did decide to chew on your pillow for some reason."

Oh.

"Well, best friend, did you ever think of stopping me?" I position a hand on my hip and struggle to keep the smile off my face.

Smirking, Spencer shrugged. "I tried. You mumbled something about it being yummy chocolate so I let it go."

"You suck."

"Not as much as you."

"Hate you."

"Love you too."

I slip an arm around the grinning blond and kiss the top of her head. Sometimes Spencer truly is too cute for words.

I gulp audibly as her eyes flutter at the touch of my lips to her skin and I inwardly sigh. It can't hurt to dream that the emotions that rage through my body are coursing through hers at moments like these. I pull away slowly and put on a smile before making my way out of the bathroom wordlessly.

The moment I closed the door, I run a hand raggedly through my hair, cursing when it snagged. I retrieve a brush and drag it through the auburn curls. When I finally gained some control over my hair, I leave my room and into the kitchen.

Looking in the fridge, I sigh, making a mental note to remind Spencer about grocery shopping. Neither one of us is allowed to do the shopping on our own. Spencer is all organic crackers and carrots while I'm much more of a cupcake and beer girl.

Trust me. It's a much better idea for both of us to go together. We both compromise and in the end, everyone's happy.

Sprawling out on the couch, I wait for the blond to come out of the bathroom. I shiver slightly and reach over to grab Spencer's UCLA sweatshirt.

She's on a vacation right now and I know that she deserves it. I was the one up with her cramming for all her medical classes. She's determined to become a doctor and I know that she'll be a great one but it's hard to see her so tired all the time.

I started a recording label with the money that I inherited from my father after his death. Kyla owns half while I own the other half. I'm much more involved with the artists instead. I write a lot of the songs that the artists on the label record. Kyla is more of the corporate one of us and she generally represents the both of us at meetings. It's a very comfortable arrangement and it's been successful thus far so why change anything?

Worming into the garment, I'm immediately overwhelmed by the scent of my best friend. I breathe in deeply and hold my breath, trying to keep as much of her inside myself as I can.

This is really getting to be too much. All of this uncertainty is beginning to take its toll on me.

A shrill ringing coming from the inside of Spencer's room catches my attention and I rush inside. Snatching up the device, I answer breathlessly.

"Hello? Helloooo?"

With no response, I glance down at the screen only to find that it was Brooke who had been calling and that the phone had already directed her to Spencer's voicemail.

Another beeping sound indicated that a message had indeed been left and I scoff before throwing the phone back on the blonde's bed.

"Ashley? Where'd you go?"

I step out of her room and into the living room to find the blond dressed and ready to go.

"Uh- were we planning on going somewhere today?"

Spencer turns at the sound of my voice and drops her gaze to the floor, blushing deeply.

"I made plans with Brooke. We're going to go out for coffee and talk a little bit more. She's going to call any moment now to let me know she's on her way."

So that's why that bitch is calling my Spencer! Yeah, you heard me. I said **MY **Spencer.

I'm sure my face is horribly contorted as I watch the blond walk into her room and back out with her phone held in the crook of her neck as she listened to her message.

I hate the way she's smiling at her phone. The way she smiles at me when I act cute.

Now she's talking into her phone and she's giggling like she does when I make those jokes that suck so bad that they're hilarious.

The doorbell rings and Spencer looks at me with an apprehensive and excited smile before disappearing out the front door.

I really need to talk to her about how I feel.

Racing hearts.

Sweaty palms.

Dry throats.

This can't be good for my health.

I look out of the window in time to find Spencer getting into a sleek jet black Mercedes. Brooke grins before closing the door; the slam of the door reverberating in my mind.

I feel sick.


	3. Rainbow Sherbet

**A/N: Thanks for the amazing reviews, everyone! I started my new semester at college and that's why i've slowed down in the chapters. Maybe Someday's new chapter should be up within the next few days so you can keep an eye out for that too! This one is a little bit shorter than the others but it needs to end where it ended. The next scene was just too long too add on in this. Hope you enjoy! Leave your thoughts!!!**

I've been staring at my front door since Spencer walked out of it. You would think that a person would become bored after the first, say forty minutes? But not me! I'm a determined person and I will continue to glare at that stupid wooden door until-

A muffled ringtone playing from the inside of my room catches my attention. I hesitate for one moment, torn between glaring at the door and answering my phone, before bolting inside the room and grabbing up the small device.

"Hello?"

Immediately, the bubbly, almost-too-happy voice of my sister is heard. "Hey, Ash. What are you up to?" I deflate suddenly, realizing that it wasn't Spencer who was calling to give me permission to run over Brooke…twice.

Sighing, I make my way back to the couch outside before answering. "Nothing really, Ky. I'm just waiting for Spencer to get back home from some coffee thing."

"Oh, you mean the one with Brooke?"

Instantly, my eyes narrow. If Kyla knows about this already, that means she probably knew beforehand meaning she knew before me! Oh, Spencer is so getting her ass kicked when she gets home.

"Yeah, that one." I mutter through clenched teeth. Forgive me for not liking the person who's hitting on my best friend who, by the way, is totally freaking straight!

"You don't sound too happy about that. What's wrong?" I cringe at the concerned tone that had flooded my sister's voice but at this point, I was desperate to talk to someone.

It's not every day you start thinking about how hot your best friend is. It's not that bad. Well, unless you're a girl and she's a girl and both of you are straight. Er, maybe 'supposed to be straight' is a better phrase. She's out with another girl and I'm sitting here thinking how much I want to throw her up against a wall and- oops, too much information.

Just take my advice, if anything like this ever happens to you, get some help immediately and figure it out or you'll end up like me: crazy, sleep-deprived, and jealous to the point of considering murder.

"Is there any way you can come over, Kyla? I really need to talk to someone about what's going on, but you can't tell anyone, especially Spencer."

"Got it. I'll see you soon."

With that, the line was disconnected and I settled deeper into the couch preparing for a conversation that was going to give the birds-and-the-bees conversation a run for its money.

* * *

"So you like Spencer?"

"Yes."

"And you're gay?"

"No! I mean, yes. Ugh- I don't know, Kyla! That's why you're here in the first place." The conversation ended up being less awkward and much more frustrating. For some reason, that doesn't make me feel any better. At least it might have been productive.

"Ashley, last time I checked Spencer _was_ a girl and so were you." Kyla points out matter-of-factly.

I treat to her a murderous glare which she cringes under.

"Fine, let's keep going. When did you start liking her?" Kyla questions and I pause because I really don't know the answer to that.

"I'm not sure, Ky. It's just…weird. This whole thing is weird. I'm with Aiden, and okay even I'll admit that I'm not as happy as I could be but that doesn't mean I'm gay! When I look at Spencer, it's different than anything I've ever felt before. It's almost like I- I don't know! I'm just jealous all the time! First with Nathan and now with this Brooke girl."

"Wait a minute. You're jealous? You think you're gay because you're jealous?? Ashley, are you out of your mind?"

I lean deeper into the couch slightly frightened by the raging pixie in front of me. "Yes. No? Maybe? What's the answer that will get you to calm down?"

A pillow slams into the side of my head and I probably deserve that but it doesn't stop me from flinging a magazine at her head and grab a book to chuck next.

"Throw another thing at me and I'm leaving you here alone with your pseudo- gayness!"

I shut up immediately and fold my hands in my lap, looking up at my sister through my eyelashes.

Shaking her head, Kyla takes a seat next to me on the couch and sighs. "You are ridiculous sometimes, Ash. You're not gay."

"I'm not?"

"No! You've been so used to having Spencer all to yourself, but now that you don't you've started feeling all these funky things."

"I'm not gay?"

"Listen to me! You are not gay!"

"I am not gay."

"Not at all!"

"Nothing."

"No!"

"But shouldn't I have started feeling these things when I went out with Aiden?"

"Oh, come on, Ashley! You always made time for Spencer. Aiden was nothing compared to the almighty Spencer Carlin!"

I smirk at my little sister and I can feel my body relaxing from the confirmation Kyla had just given me.

"So what is this, Ky? If I'm not gay, then what is this?"

Kyla leans back and states very matter of factly, "I think that you're having Spencer withdrawals. "

"Are you serious? That's what you're calling this?" I bite the inside of my cheek trying to keep my laughter contained. I know Kyla and I know that she takes her little psychology bullshit very seriously.

"Yes and I- oh for goodness sake, just laugh already. You look even stupider trying to keep it inside like that."

I bite a little tighter on my cheek and shake my head. If I laugh now, she's going to hold this over my head for the rest of my life and trust me that is not something I'm about to deal with.

I call images of fat ladies in bikinis and hairy men in Speedos and I shiver internally. Finally able to calm myself down, I smile at Kyla.

"I'm fine, Ky. I promise. So about these withdrawals, why do they make me feel this way?"

Kyla seems unconvinced but she soon rids herself of these doubts and launches into her explanation. "Nathan and Brooke are into Spencer and I'm guessing that since you were being threatened by them you started liking Spencer-"

"The same way they did? You know that actually makes some sense in a twisted little way." I quirk an eyebrow in surprise to which Kyla beams.

"But what about Spencer?"

Kyla seems thrown off for a second and confused the next. "What about Spencer?"

"Spencer's straight. Or at least I always thought she was." It w as something that had been bugging me and since Kyla was on a roll; maybe she would be able to explain it to me.

"Spencer? Straight? Ashley, honey. Spencer always orders rainbow sherbet ice cream , her favorite action movie is **D.E.B.S.**, and she is currently out on a date with a lesbian. There's not much straight about her other than her hair and even that's a little wavy." Kyla accentuates her point by making her arm look like a macaroni noodle.

It would have been hilarious if I wasn't having an epiphany about my best friend.

"So you're sure? I mean, about her being gay and all?" I swallow hard and find my throat incredibly dry. I stand up shakily and walk into the adjacent kitchen, grabbing two glasses on my way to the sink. I make my way back to the couch and hand Kyla one of the glasses.

"Not entirely but as sure as I can be without asking Spencer herself. I'm waiting on her to come and talk to me about it because pushing it just doesn't seem right."

"So what about me? Should I keep this quiet too? I'm her best friend!"

Kyla sighs, "Yeah, you should. She might just be confused and experimenting right now. We don't know anything for sure. I just told you what I thought and I never would have said anything if I knew you were going to broadcast it to the world. I may be your sister but I'm still her friend."

I look back down at my hands, thoroughly chastised. "Sorry, Ky. I won't say anything to her. Does this mean I should like Brooke now?"

Kyla pauses for a moment and smirks. "Hell yeah, Ash! She's hot! Those dimples! That smile! Those leg-"

I don't even think twice before tackling my squealing sister to the floor.

I don't care how hot Brooke is.

This is war and she's the enemy.


	4. Sexy Tigresses

**A/N: Huge thanks for all the reviews i've been getting and another big thanks to my beta, RatedRCouture! On with the story!**

"Spencer…I'm gay. No, wait, let me finish. Yes, there's still more. I think that I might be- no, I know that I like you. Not like a friend or a sister but more like a- argh! I sound so stupid! She's never going to fall for me if I talk like that."

Ugh, what the hell am I doing? I don't even know if I'm gay for sure yet and I'm already practicing my coming out speeches. Maybe I'm just jumping into things too fast. I've never really looked at other girls that way before so I couldn't be gay, could I? I mean, I'm just appreciative is all and seriously, who doesn't think Sophia Bush is possibly the sexiest woman on this planet? There is no reason to be telling people that I like girls just because I've noticed our neighbor has a hot little athletic body that's firm and glistens when she comes back from her runs and how she lets the water from her water bottle run over her skin to cool her down and…

Oh dear God.

I think I'm-

Oh man! I really am, aren't I? Man, why couldn't Kyla have been more convincing with her pseudo psychiatric skills! I want Spencer withdrawals! I can't deal with being gay.

I pace several more times around my bed, suddenly storming up to mirror and talking to my reflection, "I need to talk to you about something important but you have to promise not to freak out, okay? I think I like girls. I also know that you do too and since I like girls and you like girls maybe we should go out? No, that's not going to work. What if she's not gay?"

I manage to hit my head against the mirror three times before the ringing of my phone interrupts me. Growling at the device, I momentarily consider throwing it out of the window before deciding against the action. I sigh out loud when I see the small screen flashing Aiden's name.

There must be a problem in the relationship if I don't find talking to own boyfriend appealing. Rolling my eyes, I answer the phone anyway because I know that if I don't, I would definitely be hearing about it tomorrow.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby, guess who?" His deep rich voice fills my ears and the familiarity of the sound calms my heart a little bit. Maybe Kyla was right about that Spencer Withdrawal Symptom.

Ah, Spencer. Beautiful, gorgeous Spencer. Everything about her is just so peaceful. The way her eyes lock on my own making me feel like I'm the most important person in her world. The way she always squeezes a little tighter when she's hugging me. The way she-

"Ash?"

"Uh, yeah I'm still here."

"I said guess who?"

I roll my eyes at the immaturity Aiden always seems to exude, "Well since my phone is flashing the name Aiden in my face, I think I'm going to go with the Easter Bunny."

"What the hell, Ash? I'm your boyfriend and I just called to-"

"Aiden, stop. I think that we've had enough don't you?" I drag a hand through my hair and close my eyes. Enough was enough and Aiden needed to find someone who actually loved him. He deserved that much. Here goes nothing. "This isn't going anywhere and it's not right to put either of us through this and waste our time."

The voice on the other line was quiet and I almost wish that Aiden would yell at me.

"Aid, I'm sorry but-"

His voice cut me off sharply, "Is that what you think I am? A waste of your fucking time?"

I inhale sharply at the hurt so evident in his tone and I bite my lip, blinking back tears in my eyes.

"Aiden , please just give me a chance to explain. Can you please come over? I'll explain everything in person."

I listen for an answer and sigh when I hear a clicking sound. I know Aiden and no matter how much he doesn't want to, he'll be here soon.

Time for a pep talk.

"Alright, Davies, don't make eye contact when he's shocked. You'll just burst in tears. You're like a tigress. A strong, sexy, independent, and extremely talented tigress who just so happens to dig other hot tigresses…"

* * *

A harsh knock jerks me out of my reverie and I stand shakily. Stopping in front of the door, I pause for a moment. Aiden is on the other side of this wooden rectangle with a heart that's been ripped out. I pinch the bridge of my nose, hoping to deter the oncoming migraine, and open the door.

The sight that awaited me was worse than I could have ever imagined. Aiden's eyes are red-rimmed and his hair is disheveled. He pushes past me without a hello and heads straight to the fridge.

Silently I close the door and take a seat on one of the couches in the living room. Aiden reenters the room with a beer in each hand.

Handing one to me, he takes a seat on the opposite couch, "I figured that we'd both need alcohol in our systems to get through this talk."

Nodding in agreement, I open the bottle and take a long swig. "So…?"

The dark haired young man in front of me laughs harshly. "So? Is that all you're going to say?" Aiden continues without a pause, giving me no opportunity to say anything, "Okay, Ashley. Let me help you out. Why don't you tell me how the hell we ended up here? We're breaking the fuck up and you're just- I don't know sitting there! Ash, please just talk to me. I know that we were never the greatest couple but this is just coming out of left field here and I-"

"I'm gay."

I watch as the color slowly drains from his face and I let my eyes drop to the floor. I can't watch him hurt so much in front of me.

"You're- gay?"

"Well, maybe. I'm not sure Aiden! This is why I can't keep doing this with you! It's not fair to either of us."

"Wait, just hold on a goddamn moment! You're gay?!"

"No!"

"Then what the hell are we doing here?"

"Aiden! Shut the fuck up and listen to me damn it!" I take a deep breath to calm myself down and continue in a softer tone. "I don't really know what's going on right now, okay? I'm overwhelmed by all these feelings and I don't really know who I am anymore. It's scaring me because I can't lose who I am and I just feel like I don't have a grip on things. I need my best friend, Aid. I need you." My voice cracks audibly in the middle of my last sentence and I hang my head shamefully.

After everything I put the poor guy through, I have no right to ask him to stand in the same room as me, let alone be selfish enough to ask him to be the best friend he's always been.

I feel strong familiar arms wrap themselves protectively around me and I immediately relax in Aiden's embrace.

"It's Spencer, isn't it?" His voice is soft and there is no hint of malice in his tone.

I slump against his body, too drained to hold myself up. "Yeah, Aiden. It's her. It just kind of hit me one day and now I'm here, finding out I'm gay."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to talk about. She really is amazing; you just never took the chance to get to know her .Whenever Spencer's in the room, I just feel like the whole place is a million times brighter and when she's smiling at me, God. Aiden when she's smiling at me, I'm on top of the universe! Then there are nights we'll share a bed and all she does is wrap her arms around my waist but I feel like I'm on fire. Each and every part of me burning deliciously in her warmth and intoxicated by her presence. She just- I want to wrap everything of her around myself and just surround myself with her. At first I thought that it's because we're so close but then I started to notice the little things. How her lips move when she talks and how she's always reaching for my hand during a conversation. That's when I started becoming suspicious of what I was feeling because I couldn't actually be gay. I've been with guys before and I enjoyed it but the more I thought about it, the more I found out how the only man I really felt anything for emotionally was you and I might have just been confusing that with the buddy kind of love and not the hubby kind. I just, I'm really lost in all of this, Aid, and it sucks."

I feel him chuckle and tighten his arms around me, "It's okay, Ash. Everything will work out for you, I promise. I'm always on your side and together we'll figure out a way to sweep Spencer off her feet. We'll make a plan and everything!"

I grin widely and lean up to kiss him on the cheek. "I love you, Aid."

"I love you too, you annoying little brat," Aiden playfully ruffles my hair and leans back on the sofa.

"There might be a small little problem though."

The dark haired man looks at me skeptically, "How small?"

I'm quick to reassure him because, honestly, I need all the help I can get right now. "Just a teeny weeny one, I swear! Do you remember that Brooke girl from the club last night?"

Aiden's eyes narrow as he nods hesitantly, "Yeah, what about her?"

"She's sort of out on a date with Spencer, who by the way isn't officially out of the closet yet. Oops! I wasn't supposed to tell you that! Please don't tell Kyla!"

Shit, Kyla's going to hunt me down for not even being able to keep the secret for twenty four hours. I need to go update my will after Aiden leaves.

"That's tiny? Oh man, you've got to be kidding me Ashley!" Aiden groans and covers his face with his hands.

The room settles into an easy silence until an idea pops into my head, "Hey Aiden! You think we could figure out a way to incorporate running over Brooke twice in the plan?"

Aiden turns to look at me with wide disbelieving eyes, "You want to run Brooke over, like with a car?"

"Twice!" Nodding fervently, I hold up two fingers for Aiden to see.

He groans louder than before and covers his face again, "What have I gotten myself into? I'm going to end up in jail after all of this is over, I know it…"


	5. Moving Walls

"Ashley?"

Spencer's voice carries into my room and I bolt upright. I hesitate for a split second before scrambling out of my bed and into the living room.

I can see a head of blonde hair inside of our fridge and I roll my eyes at Spencer's ability to eat everything and not gain a single pound. I, on the other hand, have to work very hard for my abs.

Like, two hours in the gym daily, hard. Life isn't fair, go figure.

"Hey, sunshine," I greet as I collapse on the couch.

Her head bangs the side of the fridge leading me to the obvious conclusion that my voice startled her.

I'm totally a genius. I should have aced that SAT crap. I could have been the next Einstein. I can already see the headlines: _Ashley Davies Cures Cancer_.

Wait a minute. I take that back, I saw _I Am Legend_ and I'm not going to even think about going there.

Spencer pulls out two bottles of beer and rubs her head. Handing one of the drinks over to me, she scowls and massages the tender area, "That hurt, bitch."

Shrugging, I take a swig of the cooled beverage and prop my feet up on the table, "Not my fault."

Spencer rolls her eyes and sits next to me, pulling her feet up under herself, "It never is, Ash."

I raise my bottle toward her, "Damn straight."

A beat of silence passes before I can't take it anymore.

"So, how was the uh- you know the-"

"Coffee?" Spencer offers helpfully.

I wince visibly at the reminder of her badly disguised date but nod, nonetheless.

"It was good. I mean she's actually really nice, and to tell you the truth, I think I might-"

"I need to tell you something!" Blurts from my mouth and I am seriously two seconds away from shooting myself. Could I sound anymore pathetic?

Don't answer that.

A weird look crosses Spencer's face and I groan internally, knowing that this conversation is not going anywhere close to the way I had hoped it would, "Uh, okaaaaay, what's on your mind?

After a moment of silence and several awkward facial expressions on my part, I manage to speak again, "Never mind."

And I chicken out. That's surprising.

Spencer looks a little concerned but decides to let it go for now. I watch her as she takes another swig of her drink before standing up and stretching.

"I think I'm going to give Nathan a call," Glancing down at me, she gives me a sweet smile and leans down to kiss me gently on my cheek before turning towards her room.

She didn't even make it three steps away.

"I'm gay."

Spencer whips around so fast, I think she may need to get her spine realigned with the rest of her body.

The fleeting thought crosses my mind but dissipates as soon as I take in her expression.

Seeing her eyes widen and her mouth drop just crushes my heart into a million pieces.

I clench my jaw, knowing that it was too soon to drop something like this on her. Especially since I just started thinking about this like two hours ago.

I mean, seriously! Who breaks up with their boyfriend, realizes that there is a very likely possibility of being gay, and tells said boyfriend and best friend who is conveniently the one being lusted after??

Oh god, my life is like an episode of 90210.

Spencer still hasn't said a word and I'm beginning to freak out. This isn't one of those moments where you can take your time before saying something. This is more akin to when someone proposes and the other person takes an entire decade before deciding to answer. It should be illegal.

I'm serious.

I glance upward at Spencer and see her biting her lip, a clear sign of her unsure reaction. She's not meeting my eyes and that probably scares me more than anything.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to retreat the hell out of there.

"I mean, I'm not gay for sure, I'm just thinking about it. It's all the rage in Hollywood, don't you know?"

I stand up and take a hesitant step towards her, almost deflating with relief when Spencer doesn't shy away from me.

Continuing on, "Spence, I just- I don't know what's going on right now. I think that I have a lot of stuff to think about."

"What about Aiden?"

I'm sure my face must be one of pure shock right now because the last thing that I expected to hear was her voice. Remembering that Spencer asked me a question, I shake my head to clear my thoughts, "I-uh…we broke up earlier."

Spencer's perfect eyebrows shoot up in surprise and I drop my gaze to the floor.

"So is there anyone you like right now?"

The simple question felt like a slap in the face, and I back away from Spencer carefully, horrified at the turn this conversation was taking.

"N-no! Of course not."

My back hits the wall and I curse silently at my inability to sneak away undetected.

A small smile pulls at the corners of Spencer's lips as she makes her way over to me.

"I know when you're lying, Ashley. I'm not mad at you, just surprised is all. Did you think I'd be disgusted or something? I just met Brooke the other day, Ash, you should know me better than that by now."

I bite the inside of my cheek knowing that I shouldn't even think about confessing. I've already dropped a huge emotional bomb on her and she really doesn't need a new one.

Spencer's eyebrows furrow and I groan internally, because that stupid little gesture, no matter how cute, means that she's putting the pieces together and soon enough she's going to-

"Oh…fuck."

I clench my eyes shut and turn my head to the side, well aware of the colossal event that has just occurred.

Suddenly, familiar hands cup my face and a pair of lips roughly claims mine. I'm immediately set on fire and I push off the wall and against the body of the blond kissing me for all she's worth.

I feel myself gratefully incinerating in her arms and I brush my tongue against her bottom lip, silently asking for more of the delicious fire that only Spencer can provide.

Instantly I regret my action as the arms around me rip away all too soon, and the body that was pressing up against mine only seconds ago is pressing against the front door instead.

Spencer's not looking at me again and this time is worse than before. What if she leaves and never comes back? I don't think there is a life for me without a Spencer in it.

Crystal blue eyes slowly drag up my body, blazing with an emotion I couldn't name for the life of me, before connecting with my own.

"Oh…fuck."

The repetition of her earlier words shatters any hope I had for this conversation, and the slam of the front door coupled with the squealing of Spencer's tires enforce all my fears.

I'm a fucking idiot.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kyla, you need to get your ass over here now!"

"But-"

"I said now!!" I screech into the phone before punching the end button.

I take two deep breaths and glance at the time again.

11:42 p.m.

Shit. That means it's been 6 hours, 37 minutes, and 14, 15, 16 seconds since Spencer left, give or take a few- hell with it, that's the exact time she's been gone and I'd bet my life on it. She forgot to take her phone with her and it's driving me insane.

A knock on my door snaps me back to attention and I rush to the door.

Maybe it's Spencer. Maybe it's Spencer. Maybe it's Spencer.

I swing open the door and there's Sp-

No, that's just definitely not Spencer. Last time I checked, she wasn't tall, dark haired, or walking with a penis shaped appendage in between her legs unless she has something she needs to tell me.

The tall guy makes his way inside and rolls his eyes at the lack of a greeting, "Nice to see you Aiden. Thank you so much for coming in such a hurry."

I wave Aiden off, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't understand where the hell she could be, Aid."

"Maybe she decided to go to Mexico."

There's no hesitation at all when a pillow flies into his face.

Before he can retort with a very clever and intelligent reply, another knock brings my attention back to the door.

"Maybe that's Spen-"

I hold up a finger to silence Aiden, and he flinches under the blazing glare I send him.

"Don't jinx it."

"I wasn't going to-"

"Uh-uh. I don't want to hear it."

I take a few deep breaths and grip the doorknob before opening the door.

"Ashley, you have ten seconds to explain to me what-"

I groan, cutting Kyla's tirade off immediately. Moving back towards the sofa, I sprawl out and cover my face with a pillow. I can't believe I forced Spencer to run away like this. Stupid stupid stupid me!

The sofa dips next to me and I feel a pair of slim arms wrap around me. Kyla's always been really good with the comforting thing. I think that's part of why I've kept her around all this time.

"It's not Spencer withdrawals is it?" Kyla murmurs in my ear.

Biting my lip, I shake my head and feel the arms tighten around my waist.

"I still love you, Ash."

"Spencer doesn't." My voice comes out muffled against Kyla's shoulder.

Aiden places a hand on my shoulder, "Of course she does! Spencer will always love you no matter what happens. I don't think that there's anything you could do or say that would change that."

"I kissed her."

The silence that follows was deafening. Who knew that one simple action could do so much to people?

"You what??"

Kyla's voice shuddered through my body and I bolted upright.

"I didn't really kiss her. I mean, I did kiss her but I think she kissed me first."

"What?"

"She kissed me, okay? I told her what happened and first she walked away but then I guess she changed her mind and decided to kiss me. I was pushed up the wall and unless we have moving walls that no one told me about, she was the one who came over and attached her lips on to these babies!"

I doubt that neither Kyla nor Aiden had had the chance to comprehend what I had told him when the door opened again.

I'm pretty sure that my jaw shattered when it hit the floor because in walks Spencer.

She looks just as surprised as us at this little confrontation I've managed to arrange, "Oh! I- uh…hi guys! I didn't know you were here."

"I was just leaving," Aiden stands up and gives me a gentle hug, speaking softly, "Go get her, babe." With a chaste kiss on the cheek, I watch with terrified fascination as Spencer's steely blue eyes narrow at Aiden's small gesture.

He waves goodbye to Kyla and Spencer before slipping out of the apartment, quietly shutting the door behind him.

"So, Kyla-"

"I'm staying over tonight with Ashley."

Spencer seems torn for a moment, immediately prepared to deny the firm statement, but silently nods and makes her way to her room.

I watch Spencer disappear behind her door and sigh, "Is everything going to be okay, Ky?"

Feeling the hesitation, I know that I've messed this up big time.

My little sister stands up and holds out a hand towards me, "I don't know about everything being okay, Ash, but I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Now let's get some sleep, yeah?"

I take her hand and let her pull me up and into a brief hug before walking into my room and shutting the door, completely oblivious to the blonde in the next room.

**Review Please! It feeds the writer's soul!**


	6. Sunday Breakfasts

**Disclaimer: I own my laptop, my car, and my words. If I owned them, you'd be watching this rather than reading about it. Wouldn't that be a trip if I did?**

**Alright, so I thought long and hard about it and decided that although this is NOT a crossover, I will continue to borrow Sophia Bush and her lovely character Brooke Davis from One Tree Hill without the background story. No one else from Tree Hill will be making an appearance because in this story Brooke is an LA girl and always has been. I did stick to the fashion design thing but no Clothes over Bros for Brooke in this story. Thanks so much for the lovely reviews, a big thank you to my beta, RatedRCouture, who edits my crappy works in record time, and a special thank you to Abby (Gentry) who took time to edit my crappy love life lol. She's an awesome person and a kickass writer, go check her out! On to the chapter!**

My shoulder explodes with sudden pain and a knee connects firmly with my stomach. The impact sends me falling off the edge of the bed and sprawled onto the ground.

Floor, meet face. Face, this is floor.

"I am so sorry!" squeaks a voice from my bed.

Groaning, I pull myself up and smile at my sister, even though it comes out as more of a grimace.

"I forgot you're a kicker, Ky." I pull up the hem of my tanktop and glance down at the rapidly forming splotch. "Damn, Kyla! I guess all that time at the gym is helping after all."

Kyla peeks from under the covers, wincing visibly when she catches sight of the bruise, and ducks her head under the blanket.

"Sorry, Ash. I didn't mean to."

I pad my way over to the bed and ruffle my sister's hair affectionately. "It's okay. Go back to sleep, Ky. It's still pretty early and we've all had a long night."

I smile as Kyla grunts her agreement and quietly slip out of the room. Once the door clicks softly in place, I raise both arms and stretch all the sleep out of my tired muscles. Last night's happenings are still fresh in my mind and I will myself not to glance in the direction of Spencer's room on my way to the bathroom.

I don't bother closing the door, well aware that everyone is still asleep. Deciding to thoroughly check Kyla's damage, I pull off the black tank top gingerly and stand in front of the mirror. I suck in air through clenched teeth as I carefully poke the bluish spot.

I turn suddenly when I hear a gasp from behind me and flinch when I see Spencer standing in the doorway.

Her arm reaches out towards my stomach and I immediately take a step back. Her arm snaps back to her side and hurt flashes across her face.

"Wait here, Ashley. Just- wait."

With those words, she was gone and I began to consider making a run for it. I took a step forward and before my foot could even hit the floor, Spencer walked into the bathroom.

Without making eye contact, the blonde kneels on the floor and delicately touched the contusion.

"Kyla packs quite the punch, doesn't she?

I smile despite myself, "Actually it was more of a kick that did this damage."

Chills run up my spine as her fingers carefully check the bruise; fortunately Spencer seemed unaware of what her touch was doing to my body.

Suddenly, there was ice running over my stomach and I hissed loudly.

"That's so cold!" I yelp, pulling away from the icy cube.

Snickering, Spencer comes closer and begins running the ice over the bruise. "Stop being such a baby."

I white-knuckle the sink's edge hoping it'll help ease the freezing feeling.

Thankfully, Spencer gave pity on me and pulled the ice cube off of my skin. I let out a sigh of relief and allow my body to relax.

Then I became painfully aware of familiar hands wrap around my waist and warm air blowing across the discolored and painful area.

Horrified, I glance down to see Spencer blowing softly across my skin. I lean my head back and let my eyes flutter close when I feel her lips barely brush against my stomach.

It was such a soft touch that if it wasn't for the fiery trail she left behind, I would have thought I had imagined the whole thing.

"Spencer, I'll take it from here."

My eyes shoot open at the intrusion and Spencer stands up just as fast. Glancing at a stone-faced Kyla, she winces. "I was just- I thought she might need some help."

Barely acknowledging the blonde, Kyla enters the bathroom and stands between Spencer and myself. "Well I'm here now, so I think she'll be fine."

Letting her head drop, Spencer glances up at me but I avert my gaze not wanting to meet her eyes.

The second the blonde leaves the bathroom, Kyla slams the door shut and turns on me. "What the hell Ashley? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

I sit down on the floor and put my back against the wall. "I don't know, Ky. I don't know what she's doing either! Everything just seems so confusing right now."

Kyla sighs and takes a hold of my hand pulling me up to a standing position. She kneels down and inspects the bruise for a few seconds before standing up straight and shrugging. "Well whatever she did, it helped. Go take a shower and for god's sake, Ash, don't let me catch Spencer in there trying to 'help' you!"

I fling a bar of soap in her direction but she ducks quickly and runs out of the room laughing.

* * *

Walking out of the bathroom, I'm immediately hit with the smell of pancakes. I rush into the kitchen, anxious to find the source of the mouthwatering aroma.

I'm greeted by the sight of Spencer in the kitchen, flipping some of the most perfect looking pancakes I've ever seen.

I walk to the table and sit down without a word, staring at the food that adorns the kitchen table. Eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes…I think I might have died and gone to breakfast heaven.

Almost magically, a plate full of everything on the table materialized in front of me, shaking me out of my food reverie. I glance upward and see Spencer smiling down warmly at me. I couldn't even think about stopping the goofy grin before it appears on my face.

"You didn't think I'd forget about Sunday breakfasts, did you?"

I shrug and opt to dig into the delicious spread placed in front of me rather than verbalize a response.

I get through half of my first pancake when Kyla walks into the room. Her eyes immediately zero in on the chair adjacent to mine. I see her mind at work and as much as I appreciate her protectiveness, I feel rather embarrassed at what she's about to do.

Kyla rushes over to the table, deciding on leaping over the coffee table only to have the chair snatched by Spencer who quickly sits down. The blonde turns and smiles apologetically at my sister but I think everyone can see that triumphant twinkle in her eyes.

I shrug again to no one in particular and continue eating my food. Sunday breakfasts are one of my favorite parts of the week. Spencer usually cooks up an amazing breakfast and we talk about nothing and everything all at once. I tried to help twice, causing small fires each time and I've been banned from using the oven, the stove, and the microwave except for making popcorn.

I kick ass at microwaving popcorn. Never burned a single kernel, bitches. I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records or something. Better yet, there should be a Guinness Book of Ashley Davies' Records. How fucking awesome would that be??

"So are you planning on doing anything today Kyla?" Spencer asks.

Kyla thinks thoughtfully for a moment, before deciding that she didn't hate Spencer anymore and nods enthusiastically. "Yup, I have this casting call for some movie and I'll probably be there all day."

"What about you Ashley?"

I glance up and shrug a third time before shaking my head and resuming my eating.

"I was thinking we could have a movie day in that case."

The fork drops onto my plate with a soft clatter that sounds over-amplified in the quiet room.

Movie day? With Spencer? She tricked me!

"I guess so, since there's nothing better to do."

I'm pleased with my answer. Nonchalant, smooth, and just prickly enough to sting a bit.

I shove the last piece of toast into my mouth and excuse myself from the table.

Not even a moment after I enter my room, Kyla bursts in looking all kinds of disturbed.

"Whoever said blondes aren't smart really hasn't met Spencer Carlin!"

I smile softly and shrug before collapsing on the bed.

"Kyla, I can take care of myself. Thank you for everything but I think I can handle a movie day with Spence. We've done it before all this happened so it can't possibly be hard to do it again."

Kyla turns and looks at me with the most disbelieving look on her face, "Oh, you have absolutely no idea."

* * *

Boy was she right.

First off, we're stuck watching Twilight, which is a good movie if your best friend hadn't already dragged you to the theatre eleven different times to watch the damn thing.

Alice Cullen is _fucking hot_ though. I'd totally tap that.

Twice.

Second, I'm sitting awkwardly on the couch with Brooke, yes that Brooke, through our third movie of the day, while we're both trying to avert our eyes from the train wreck that is Spencer and Nathan.

Spencer is perched on Nathan's knee and the king of smooth moves is sucking on her neck so hard, I think he's forgotten he's not Edward Cullen and that Edward Cullen is Edward…Cullen?

I think I confused myself.

Anyhow, while the two are polite enough to keep their moaning to a five on a scale of ten, Brooke looks almost a hundred times more uncomfortable than I feel.

I almost felt bad for the poor girl.

Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed by a soft fruity scent and a husky voice that makes its way into my ear. "You know, considering the club and the coffee date-that's-not-officially-a-date-but-totally-is, I could have sworn she didn't swing that way."

I snort softly before murmuring in reply, "You mean the way of monkey boy?"

Brooke giggles gently, "The way he's sucking at her neck, it's almost like he thinks he's the vampire."

My eyes widen and I whisper shout, "That's totally what I was thinking!"

Nodding, Brooke smiles and holds out a hand. "I'm Brooke Davis. It's nice to meet you now that you don't hate me anymore."

I flinch and smile apologetically before reaching out and taking the offered hand. "Ashley Davies. Sorry about that, it's – ah- complicated."

"You love her?"

"Or maybe it's just really simple."

Brooke laughs out loud and the sound tugs the corners of my mouth upward. "Is there anywhere we can go that might be a little more private and not on the verge of a soft-core porno?"

"My room?"

"Sounds perfect."

We both stand up and I lead the older brunette over to my room. "Here it is. Nothing special, really."

Brooke looks around, looking quite impressed when her eyes fell on the guitar. "You play?"

"Yeah, my dad taught me when I was younger. I sing a little, just for fun of course, whenever I'm not too busy with school and stuff."

"School and stuff, huh? What are you doing at school and stuff?" The brunette teases, sitting down on my bed and patting the area next to her.

I make my way over, "I'm doing business at school and my sister and I own a recording label."

"Wow, I didn't see that coming. That's impressive."

I shrug, mentally berating myself for relying on that gesture so much. One day my shoulders are just going to fall out of their sockets when I try to shrug.

"It's actually interesting but I'm not going to lie, it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

"What about Spencer?"

"She is hell bent on becoming a physician."

"Like on ER?"

"No, more like Pediatrics."

Brooke seems to ponder that a minute before nodding, "She seems like that doctor type."

Laughing, I agree. "She totally does. So what about you?"

"Fashion design. I want to own my own company one day."

"That's cool. You're going to give your new favorite friend some free designer stuff, right?"

"Ha! After how you nearly bit my head off at the club the other day? You wish sweetheart."

Rolling my eyes, I stick my tongue out at Brooke. "I already apologized, I'm not going to do it again."

"I don't blame you. Spencer's something special."

My eyes glaze over, "She really is."

"Too bad Monkey Boy out there is macking on our girl."

I quirk an eyebrow up in the brunette's direction only to have one quirked right back at me, "Don't give me that look, Davies. I totally had a shot with her and you know it. Otherwise someone wouldn't have been so eager for me to get out of the car."

"I was tired! I wanted to go home!" I defend my drunken self.

"The car was still moving when you tried to push me out!" Brooke exclaims laughing.

Suddenly the door swings open and I glance up to find a not so happy Spencer in the doorway.

"The movie is over, Brooke. Sorry, but Ashley and I have class in the morning so…"

Brooke nods in Spencer's direction before turning back to me and waving her phone in my face, "You have a phone, Rock star?"

I roll my eyes but pull out the small device and hand it over. She punches in a few digits and I surprise her by grabbing a hold of her phone and entering in my own phone number. She smirks in my direction and holds out my phone. Our hands brush as we exchange our phones and linger there for a few seconds too long.

"Brooke, it's late." Spencer's voice broke in icy cold.

"Sorry, Spencer. Thanks again for inviting me tonight, I had fun tonight." At those words, Brooke turns her head to glance in my direction before turning towards Spencer again. "Bye Spence. I'll call you later, Ash."

Nodding my agreement, my eyebrows shoot upward when I note the same narrowness of Spencer's eyes that I had noticed when Aiden had kissed my cheek last night.

"Spenc-" I try.

"Goodnight, Ashley." Spencer cuts me off sharply and turns on her heel, walking Brooke and Nathan out before heading straight to her room.

I consider going out and talking to her, a thought promptly thrown out with the resounding slam of her bedroom door.

Good _fucking_ night.

**Reviews are Love :)  
**


	7. The Knife in My Back

**A/N: Huge thanks to all of the reviewers. You guys, i seriously am speechless. I have over a hundred reviews for this story and i haven't even posted up the seventh chapter. You guys have made my day. I want to thank everyone because really, you guys are awesome. Readers, reviewers (especially you reviewers), and alert people, I appreciate all of you. Big thanks to my beta, RatedRCouture, she did this for me in lightening speed.  
**

**Dedicated to Miss Abby and Miss Kirsten, and all the readers that have stuck with me so far. You all rock. **

**Chapter seven: The Knife in My Back  
**

I wake up as a hand gently shakes my shoulder.

"Ashley, your class starts in another hour. You need to get up now or you're going to be late again."

Turning over, I shove my head under the pillow. "I don't even have to go to school, Spencer. I own a business and I'm successful in doing it. School doesn't matter for me."

Spencer gently moves the pillow off my face and lowers herself to my eye level. I feel her slender fingers move through my hair and I can't stop the sigh that leaves my lips.

"Ash, you really got to get up now."

"I don't wanna."

Believe me, at this early in the morning, I am not above begging.

"Well, if you're not going to then I guess I'm not going to class either."

The bed dips and I feel the immediate warmth of Spencer's body against mine. I snuggle closer towards her and smile because no school plus Spencer in my bed equals a very happy Ashley.

Spencer giggles and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. "We can sleep through the first class but we have to make it to the second one okay?"

I nod against her shoulder, already losing grip on reality.

The last thing I heard was Spencer's tinkling laugh before I slipped away into the peaceful darkness.

* * *

It's been 17 minutes since I've been awake and I still haven't managed to tear my eyes off of the sleeping figure curled up against me.

Okay, now before you call me a stalker let me explain.

Last night, Spencer was pissed at me. I mean, she was outside shoving her tongue down the Edward wannabe's throat and I was _talking_, of all things, with Brooke. Anyway, my point is that the last thing Spencer wanted to do last night was to talk to me and today she's curled around my waist like nothing ever happened.

Is it that big of a crime to say that there's something off about this situation?

She's doing this whole one step towards me, three hundred away since we kissed.

I feel the bed move and I glance towards the sleeping blonde horrified to find her stirring.

I haven't exactly decided how I'm going to approach this whole sleeping scenario. She should know better to ask me something right after waking me up! I can't be held responsible for my decisions before my morning cup of coffee.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah, Spence?"

Perfect! Just enough smoothness with that little bit of nonchalance added in to make this seem totally less awkward than it should be.

"Is it time to get up?"

The sleepy husky tone that escapes her lips drives my heart to beat a little bit faster and I bite my lip to keep from ravaging her at that very moment.

Clearing my throat, I respond, cursing internally when my voice cracks at the end, "Yeah, it i-is."

Thanks to whoever is watching down on me, the blonde doesn't seem to catch on to my pubescent boy tendencies and just nods sleepily.

Her eyes flutter open slowly and I feel my breath catch in my throat when I finally get a glimpse of those crystal clear blue eyes that have been haunting my mind recently.

A small smile graces her lips and I have to force my eyes away from her mouth as her tongue darts out to wet her full luscious….

Alright! Time to take a shower.

A very ice cold shower.

Spencer sits up and rubs the sleep from her eyes. She catches my gaze and smiles bashfully, "I think I'm going to take a quick shower now and then eat something so I don't have to rush later on."

I nod, "Yeah, that works for me too."

I make a move to get off of the bed but Spencer voice stills my every single move, "Ash?"

Never has my name sent such chills through my body. Turning slowly, I'm startled to say the least when I find Spencer's face in close proximity to my own.

She grins at me and leans close to peck me on the lips, "Just forgot to say good morning."

I watch speechlessly as she bounds out of the room as if she hadn't done what I think she did.

My fingers dance over my lips trying to soothe the tingling sensation coursing through them.

I groan loudly as I flop back on my bed.

Pulling out my phone, I dial a familiar number and wait for a voice on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Kyla, she did it again."

There's a small pause and a barely audible sigh before my sister replies, "I'll be there in ten minutes."

* * *

Spencer walks into my room to find me and Kyla whispering sneakily.

We jump apart and I groan at the lack of subtly I've been showing lately.

Seriously, this girl is ruining my reputation around La La Land. I'm the smooth Davies, Kyla's supposed to be the clumsy one.

The blonde's eyes narrow when she spots my sister, "Kyla, what on earth are _you_ doing here so early?"

The short brunette jumps off my bed and shrugs nonchalantly, "I felt like it. When did _you_ start caring so much?"

A perfect eyebrow quirks up, "I didn't."

Another shrug, "So why the inquisition?"

Oooh, there was some jaw clenching action, "It was a simple question."

And there's the Davies glare, "Not anymore it isn't."

The blonde's lips twitch into a frown, "What do you mean by that?"

Kyla's shoulder shrug once more, I'm starting to think that this shrugging habit must be a Davies thing, "You know what I meant by it, Spence."

Spencer takes a step towards Kyla, "Really, because I don't think I do Kyla. Why don't you explain it to me?"

I see Kyla's eyes flash at the challenge, "Maybe I wi-"

"Okay, you guys! I don't know what you two are going on about but Spencer, you have class in half an hour."

What? I would rather not see my best friend and my sister kill each other over something I haven't even figured out yet!

Thankfully, the distraction works but Spencer catches my sole focus on her going to school and sends a questioning glance my way.

"What are you talking about, Ash. You have class too."

Scratching my head sheepishly, I smile apologetically, "Yeah, about that. I don't think I'm gonna be going to class today. Some other things have….come up."

I cringe inwardly at the flash of anger and hurt on the blonde's face at the blatant lie but she gives me no chance to apologize.

Spinning on her heel, without a single word Spencer stalks out of my room slamming the door in her wake.

I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself down before whirling on the lounging Kyla on my bed.

"What that _fuck_ was that, Ky?"

A look of confusion crosses the younger girl's face before she states obviously, "Uh, she started it!"

"No, Kyla. She asked you a question. You're the one who made it into something."

Kyla's eyes bulge out of her head, and I'm momentarily concerned that they may actually fall out of her head.

"You're kidding, right? Did you see her waltz in here and go all 'What on earth are you doing here, Kyla?'?" The brunette imitates in a high snobby voice, complete with the facial expression and the hand gestures.

I wait half a second before cracking up, "Oh my….god…you sounded….just like....Paris Hilton!!"

Kyla glares at me, but her smirk breaks through her façade and within a moment, she's sprawled out next to me gripping her stomach and in tears. "Stop….I can't…feel my…stomach…anymore!"

The door to my bedroom swings open and bangs against the wall, catching Kyla's attention as well as mine.

Spencer stands at the door, glaring at Kyla while refusing to make eye contact with me, "If you two could stop laughing at me for all of five seconds, I just wanted to say goodbye and that I won't be coming home tonight."

I bolt upright at those words. Kyla didn't hurt her feelings that bad, did she?

Apparently, Kyla has the same idea as she's already made her way over to Spencer and is apologizing profusely, "Spence, I didn't mean what I said earlier. It's just that I haven't had my cup of coffee this morning and I'm just really exhausted from everything and well, you know how it is. I didn't mean for you to get hurt and spend the night away from home."

Kyla turns and glares at me, motioning for me to help her out. I make my way over to the blonde and look her in the eyes intently.

After a moment, I shrug, "Her feelings aren't hurt, Ky. She's staying out for some other reason."

Spencer's mouth opens slightly in awe and Kyla narrows her gaze at the blonde.

"Well, if she's not mad…where exactly are you gonna be at, Spencer?"

The speechless Carlin glances back between Kyla and I, and I can see her mind working double time to produce a believable lie. Hesitating, she sighs unhappily, "I'm going out with Nathan. I was planning to stay over at his house tonight."

Apparently, now it's my turn to be speechless. I can see that Kyla doesn't seem to be suffering from that problem so to avoid any potential catfights; I clamp my hand over my sister's mouth, effectively stifling the younger brunette's feisty replies to Spencer's revelation.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I grab the door with my free hand and hurriedly rush out a reply, knowing that I can't keep Kyla quiet for much longer, "Okay have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't, no drinking and driving, wear your seat belt, and uuhhh, bye!"

Closing the door and hearing the satisfying click, I release Kyla who immediately begins flying off the walls in anger.

I watch the infuriated brunette curse consistently while pacing around the room.

The fight drains out of my body and I crumple to the floor, not even bothering to walk over to the bed.

Kyla stops her movements and glances at me, her anger giving way to the unfaltering concern.

I clench my eyes shut hoping to keep the tears at bay.

"Kyla."

My voice breaks, the raw emotion startling even me.

"I'm right here, Ash." Her arms wrap around me as the first tear slips past its barrier.

"_Ky, she's killing me."_

**A/N: So was that as horrible as I thought it was? I worked through a ginormous writers block to get this one out and I hope you guys like it. Review please! They make my day.**


	8. Have You Been Crying?

**A/N: Huge thanks to all the reviewers and readers! I think that you guys are the most awesomest ones in the world. Seriously. Well I hope you like this chapter! I also hope that i will get great feedback this time**. **Thanks to my beta, RatedRCouture for doing this so fast and catching my mistakes.**

**This is dedicated to Kirsten and Abby (See this time she's before you lol!) and all of my wonderful readers as well as my beta. I love all of you guys :)  
**

"_Ashley, I'm just scared." Spencer whispers softly._

_Smiling, I reach out a hand for her to take, "Of me, Spence? You should know that you never have to be scared of your best friend."_

_Her soft hand slips into my own and she takes a firm hold. I tug her gently and she falls into my arms._

_Looking down into those blue eyes, I find myself getting lost until a throat clearing draws my attention back to the blonde in my arms._

"_Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to kiss me, _girlfriend_?" She taunts playfully._

_Smirking, I lower my lips down to hers stopping just a breath away. Licking my lips, I touch not only my own lips but graze hers as well. Her shiver and the fluttering of her eyes aren't gone unnoticed by me. Nothing she ever does goes unnoticed by me. _

"_Ash…"_

_I feel my name exhaled alongside a sweet breath and I sigh happily. I don't know why I ever doubted her coming back to me. _

_Pushing my lips just a little bit farther, I softly collide with what may very well be the most heavenly thing on this earth. Well the most heavenly part on the heavenliest thing on earth._

_A tentative brush of her tongue chases all other thoughts from my head. I allow her the permission she was seeking immediately and I think I just died when she moans softly in my mouth. _

_She pulls away and looks into my eyes with one of the brightest smiles I've ever seen on her face. Her eyes sparkle with happiness and my heart swells at the thought that I am the reason for that happiness._

"_Spence, I just wanted you to know that – well, I uh…love you. I'm in love with you, Spencer Carlin!"_

_If her face is any clue to her reaction, I would take a safe bet that she feels the same way. Her face lights up as if she's just won a brand new car. A hot red Mustang convertible called Ashley Davies. Hmmm, Spencer Carlin riding Ashley Davies…_

_The images are just heavenly aren't they? I wholeheartedly agree._

"_Ashley, I lov-"_

A pillow slams the side of my head and my eyes flutter open to the ceiling fan in my room.

I blink once and the face of an enraged brunette fills my vision and I swallow hard.

I think I'm in trouble.

"Ashley Nicole Davies! You get up this very moment before I-"

I hold out a hand to stop the impending attack and glare at my younger sister. "Seriously, Kyla, can you chill the fuck out? I'm awake, look you can even see my eyeballs. Now stop before I kick your ass."

I sit up and stretch out my body before glancing at the time. I had slept for nearly an hour and a half. My head was throbbing from all the crying and after gingerly prodding my face; I could tell that it was puffed up. I stand up, determined to go into the bathroom and apply make up until my face was semi-presentable.

"Ashley!"

I whirled on my sister, because really, enough was enough, "What, Kyla? What the fuck could you possibly want right now?"

The outburst barely affects the petite brunette who shoots an accusatory glare at me and points a finger in the direction of the living room. "There is a brunette in the living room, Ashley. But, oh no! Not just any brunette. This brunette is special, because you see, this brunette has dimples, and long legs and that stupid gorgeous smile and a husky voice. That brunette is special because she's Spencer's fucking coffee date! So please, dear sister of mine! Would you care to explain why I have Brooke effing Davis waiting in your living room for the past five minutes??"

I pale considerably and glance around panicking, "Kyla! I look horrible! Go stall and tell her I'll be out in a minute."

Kyla's eyes flashed in anger, "Oh no! I'm not going anywhere until you explain to me what the hell she's doing here?"

Exasperated, I take a hold of Kyla's hands and do the only thing that comes to mind.

I beg.

"Kyla. Please! Just do this for me and I'll explain this all to you later. Now I have to go put my face on so just stall her for five more minutes."

Rolling her eyes at me, Kyla nods and holds out a finger warningly, "If you don't tell me the whole story, I will know Ashley and I will kick your ass."

With that, she turned on her heel and out the door. I could hear her cheery voice strike up an immediate conversation with the stunning brunette on the couch and I heard the husky chuckle at my sister's excuse of a stall.

Rushing to the bathroom, I put my expertise in cosmetics to work and within five minutes you couldn't even tell that I had spent almost forty-five minutes in the arms of my sister sobbing my heart out.

I glance down at the boy shorts and the tank top that currently adorn my body and curse silently. Chancing the risk of getting caught, I poke my head out of the bathroom door and check to see if the hallway is clear. It is and I bound to my room and slip inside before anyone catches sight of me.

Running towards the closet, I rip the clothes off my body and hurriedly slip into a pair of ripped jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. Comfortable but cute. Double checking my make up in the mirror, I quickly spray just a bit of perfume on my neck and in perfect time too.

There's a soft knock at my door and I walk over, taking a deep breath before opening it. Brooke stands their smiling embarrassedly while Kyla shrugs somewhat apologetically in my direction.

"I'm not interrupting anything am I, Rockstar?"

I smile at the dark haired girl directly in front of me, "Of course not. Come on in!" I wave my sister off who mouths that that she'll be back later and heads out of the apartment. I close the door in my own room and walk up behind the older girl.

Without turning around, Brooke begins talking, "You know, when people give other people their numbers, they usually want them to call or at least answer their calls."

"You called me? But I didn't even…where did that stupid thing go now?" My voice trails off as I search for my phone, finally retrieving it from under the bed. I glance up to see Brooke stifling a laugh, "What? Is there something on my face?"

Really, who would want to look anything less than perfect with this girl in the room?

Brooke shakes her head and confidently strides over to take a seat on my bed. "So what about you, Rockstar? Did ya miss me as much as I missed you?"

I let out a genuine laugh, amazed at how effortlessly this girl could make people feel at ease. I peek at my phone and thumb through the two missed calls from Brooke before stopping at the most recent message, "Well I'd like to say I did…"

_From: Kickass Best Friend :)_

_I'm sorry, Ash._

My finger wavers over the reply button and I felt the backs of my eyes prick with familiar tears, when Brooke interrupted my train of thought, "Have you been crying?"

My head snaps up, and I deny the statement vehemently, "No! Do I look like I've been crying?"

The brunette eyes me warily, "It doesn't have to look like you're crying. I'm an expert when it comes to makeup. I can make a sobbing mess look like she's ready for the Grammy Awards. Crying is always there in a person's voice, so I ask again, have you been crying?"

I study the older girl and feeling the sincerity ebbing off the girl, I let my walls fall down. "I'm just completely stung out right now. There isn't any reason for all of this to happen right now but I think I'm losing myself more and more in every moment I spend with…"

"Spencer?" Brooke's identification brought the tears back to my eyes immediately. Seeing my inability to speak, she continued. "I don't blame you. I like her a lot too. There's just something about her that makes me very attracted to her."

"But you were flirting with me last night."

Chuckling, Brooke waves my confusion off. "Oh that was just to get a rise out of her. Believe it or not, Spencer is really protective over you. I couldn't tell you if she likes you or not but I can tell you that seeing you and I together really got under her skin."

"Oh, so you didn't like me like..." I trail off embarrassed, hoping that I wasn't as obvious as I thought I was being.

"I like you for you, if that's what you mean?"

"I-uh… yeah, I just wanted to make sure that there aren't any hard feelings between us."

Brooke laughs her husky laugh and I startling realize that it's becoming one of my most favorite things to hear. I hate to say that I'm disappointed to hear that she wasn't truly interested in me and I'd be a liar if I said it didn't hurt. But there's nothing I can do and I won't make myself look any more pathetic than I already do. So much for my reputation.

"Don't worry about it Rockstar. So back to Spencer."

I think about the way my heart lurched when Spencer reacted the way she did when I told her I was gay. My mind replays the kiss when I was so wonderfully slammed against the wall. I see her walking away from me, her kissing Nathan, her cuddling with me in the morning and the good morning kiss. It was so overwhelming but I was unaware that I was crying until Brooke wrapped her arms around me and began whispering softly in my ear.

"It's going to be okay. Ashley, it really will work out. Is there anything I can do to help?"

The first thought that comes to mind shocks me and I pull away shaking my head. "No, you can't."

Brooke eyes my face for a moment, "You're lying. I can see it in your eyes. Tell me, Rockstar. You know I'll be here for you."

"Trust me. If you knew what I was thinking of you wouldn't want to help me."

I look down but within a second my line of sight is full of Brooke Davis.

"I want to. Just tell me, please."

I contemplate for a second before deciding that if it's what she wants…

Pushing my head a little bit forward, I'm pleasantly met with a pair of soft lips. They aren't as soft as Spencer's but much more fuller. When there's no response I try pulling back, but you can easily say I'm more than a little surprised when a hand snakes its way into my curls and another cups my cheek. The lips pressed against mine begin moving, tentatively at first but it becomes clear that Brooke is a seasoned kisser and her expertise is definitely making a great impression on me. Before I can stop myself my tongue brushes up against her bottom lip silently begging for entrance. I can feel her hesitance but she allows me the permission I was seeking and just as our tongues near each other, the door swings open, colliding with the wall behind it.

"Oh my god."

Brooke and I spring apart and stare at the person standing in the doorway. Glancing at each other, our eyes wide with shock and shame, we voice the only thought running through our mind simultaneously.

"_Oh fuck."_

**_Read and review por favor.  
_**


	9. I Can't, Not With You

**A/N: Okay, so there is no reason for you guys to not hate me. I go MIA for a month and then offer up this measly little chapter. I suck, I know. I really did drop the ball on this one but I am not giving up on this fic and I have some really good plans for what's coming up soon. It's not my fault for getting so distracted (alright it totally is!) but it was my dad's bday, then mine, than my friends, than another one and another one and then I went out of town, then camping, then school started and I just totally had to put the writing on backburner. I also know that I haven't replied to any reviews, and I'm sorry but that doesn't mean I appreciate them any less, I swear!! Good news is that the creativity is really flowing (sorta) and I should have another chapter up in a week (hopefully less). Sorry once again, and I really hope you can all forgive me for the (too long) hiatus!**

**Dedicated to my readers/reviewers!**

**Now that my novel of an Author's note is over, on with the story!!!  
**

"Get her out."

The voice runs chills down my spine and I suppress a shiver at the intensity in the words.

I can almost see the blonde's eyes flash red in Brooke's direction, and I immediately decide that it's time for me to intervene.

"Spencer, I-"

"Ashley, I want her to leave this house right now." Spencer interrupts coldly.

Fuckkkkkkkk.

I am on the edge of witnessing cold blooded murder in my bedroom, people.

Brooke fidgets nervously, for very good reason, and I feel utter sympathy for the poor girl. I would never dare put even my worst enemy in front of an angry Spencer.

And this is pissed-off-I'm-going-to-shank-the-next-person-I-see-Spencer we're talking about.

I step forward, knowing that I'm the least likely to get killed in this room, "Spencer, I really don't think that you can tell one of my guests to leave."

Holy shit! Did that just come out of me? When did I grow a pair??

Spencer's eyes snap to mine and a mixture of disbelief and hurt pours from her eyes to mine.

"Fine. Then I'll just leave instead."

She turns on her heel and storms out of the room.

The tears that had sprung into her eyes didn't go unnoticed by me.

Before I could even will myself to take a step, I'm already halfway to the door, when I feel a hand pull me back gently.

Turning, I'm sure my eyes are pleading with Brooke to let me leave, but the way she's looking at me stops my movements dead cold.

"Ashley, that wasn't right."

Groaning, I let my gaze fall to the floor, "I know but it just happened and I-"

"Not that. I'm talking about the kiss."

I could feel my heart stop beating at her words and I swallow hard, "What about it?"

"It was the wrong thing to do. I kissed you because you needed it but we can both admit there was nothing there."

"I-uh- Brooke…"

"It's okay, Rockstar. You needed that and I told you that I wanted to help. But, let's just not do that again, okay?"

I nod jerkily, knowing that the brunette was more than right and it was impossible to force Spencer out of my mind.

I make another move to leave the room when I'm stopped once more.

"Call me tonight, Ashley. I think I might have a few ideas to help you win over Blondie."

I nod again before turning and rushing out of the room.

There is no sight of the blonde anywhere in the house and I sigh internally as I pull on a jacket and make my way through the front door.

I'm half way down the stairs when I notice Spencer sitting on the swing on our porch.

"Spencer, I…"

She shakes her head almost imperceptibly but its Spencer we're talking about and nothing she ever does goes unnoticed by me. I move cautiously over to the swing, scared that any sudden movement may cause the gorgeous girl to bolt.

As I near the swing, Spencer scoots over to the side despite the fact that there is plenty of room left. My heart soars because it's a silent gesture of welcome. She's moving over to make room for me and I don't think I've ever been so relieved at the sight of our swing.

I take a seat gently and allow the swing to move under my weight, the balls of my feet helping to encourage the motion.

There's a moment of silence and a small sigh escapes my lips. I really messed up this time but a few muttered apologies aren't going to do me any good this time and in all honesty, I am not at blame in this situation.

"Spencer, I'm not going to say I'm sorry for kissing Brooke."

Spencer seems unaffected save for the cocked eyebrow in my direction.

I tear my gaze from hers and push forward, knowing that this is something that needs to be cleared up.

"I told you how I've been feeling lately and instead of comforting me, you confuse the hell out of me. Brooke hasn't done anything but be nice to me while you've done nothing but mess with my mind! Oh, and not only my head, what was that shit you pulled with her anyway? After the club, you're sitting here telling me that you think you like her, going out with her, and then inviting her to watch you and that fucking idiot shove your tongues down each other's fucking throats!!"

By now I'm standing up, my voice raised to a shrill volume and my chest heaving from the sudden exertion.

Spencer gently takes a hold of my wrist and pulls me back towards the swing, "Alright, now what is it that's bothering **you**?"

"What are you doing to me, Spencer?"

The blond stands abruptly, letting go of my hand and walking to the edge of the porch.

I wait for what seems an eternity for her to answer me but it soon becomes clear that it's not the case here. Walking behind her, I sigh knowing that this wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

"Spencer, you kissed me."

A sharp intake of breath.

"I know, Ashley. I was there."

"Twice."

I saw her body flinch at the statement and I felt my heart clench at the involuntary gesture.

"Why did you do it Spence?"

"Because I could! The first time it happened caught me by surprise. Out of nowhere you spring this on me after I sort of indirectly tell you that I might like girls. I went out for coffee, Ashley! You broke up with your boyfriend and told three people you were gay the same day! Obviously, you had a lot more guts than I did, but when I saw you so vulnerable, I couldn't take it. Especially when you thought that I could ever love you any less and when I found out who you liked...I couldn't think of anything else to do but to kiss all of your fears away and that terrified me. That single fleeting thought scared the shit out of me. So I did what you do best, I ran. I fucking bolted out of there and headed straight to a bar. A couple shots later and I ended up God-knows-where doing God-knows-what with Nathan."

I swallow hard and, to no surprise at all, find that my throat is completely dry. The blonde that I'm watching so very intently takes a shuddering breath and continues on, with me hanging on to each and every word falling past her lips.

The second time, was just because it's you in the morning, and damn it Ashley, you look absolutely gorgeous when you wake up. You were so damn close to me and you gave me that look that I know you never give anyone else and I just wanted to kiss you so I did. You should have stopped me. You were _**supposed**_ to stop me!"

She whirls suddenly and presses her lips against mine for a sweet but oh so brief moment. She pulls back and my eyes flutter open to see her staring me dead in the eye.

"You still won't stop me, Ashley._**Why**_?"

Spencer pulls herself away from me and moves a safe distance away, but now I can clearly see the guilt and accusation clashing in the blonde's eyes.

I see her biting her lips, hoping to keep the threatening tears at bay as she chances a glance in my direction before hurrying towards the front door.

The idea of Brooke still inside the house runs through my mind for a fleeting moment before I recall seeing the girl unceremoniously climb out a window and army crawl to her car. Smart girl, that one.

I unconsciously make the decision to not let Spencer walk away from me again, before I realize it myself.

I take her wrist in one of my hands and pull her gently in to my body, breathing the answer to her question against her lips.

"Because you're you, Spencer, and that's all that ever mattered."

Taking a deep breath, I inhale all that is Spencer and bathe myself in her presence before taking the next step and closing the distance between our lips.

I'm sure you can understand when I say that I am more than surprised to have Spencer turn her head, causing my lips to softly collide with her cheek.

The next words cut deep into my heart, shattering the newly healed pieces.

"I can't, Ashley. Not with you."

**Reviews are love.**


	10. Better If I Leave

**Dedicated to my readers, my reviewers, and everyone else who has given this story a chance. **

**A/N: I'm trying very hard to get back into the good graces of my readers and so here is another peace offering from the inner workings of my mind. I hope you enjoy, and you probably won't but that's okay because I kind of expect it with the plot line of this chapter BUT SPASHLEY WILL PREVAIL! So remember that while reading this one because i did what was necessary and uh, just don't kill me? **

**On with the story!**

I pull away with an expression that must mirror one of someone who had been slapped across the face.

"What the fuck, Spencer? Are you serious right now?"

Pushing away from the wall, I quickly distance myself away from the crying blonde.

She doesn't get to do this.

"Not with me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Do you want me to find Brooke fucking Davis because your best fucking friend isn't good enough for you? Or would you like me to get Nathan because he's a guy and that way your perfect little fucking world won't get fucking fucked up!"

"Yes! I'd rather have either of them than you right now. You are my best friend Ashley. Why the hell would I risk losing you over any of this? You're more important and I can't end up hurting you."

I laugh humorlessly, the sound seeming bitter even to my own ears.

"Well, you're doing a fucking wonderful job at that Spencer. Thank you, for jerking me around and making me believe that you really gave a shit how I felt throughout this whole thing."

Spencer looks taken aback for a moment before her eyes flash dangerously and even though I know that I'm stepping into treacherous territory, I can't seem to stop myself.

"Fuck this. No, actually, fuck **you**, Spencer. I'm leaving."

"Oh, that's rich Ashley. Go ahead and leave just like you always do when you don't want to take the time to talk about something."

I whirl around and push my face right against hers, ignoring the hitch in my breath and hers at our sudden close proximity. It doesn't matter right now because I'm threatening her, daring her to say another word.

"I wish I could fucking hate you Spencer Carlin."

I watch my words take effect and smirk evilly in the blonde's direction before picking up the remaining shards of my heart and turning towards my car.

A hand catches my wrist and I'm overwhelmed with the desire to both wrench my hand from her grip and to press into her body and kiss every inch of her skin for the rest of my life.

Instead, I settle for a chill-inducing glare but leave my wrist in her grasp. I could feel every finger of hers pressing firmly against my skin and my eyes flutter at the thought of them pressing in a similar fashion in much more private areas.

"Please don't leave me, Ashley."

The emotion behind the words catches me off guard and I feel the anger slipping away but I quickly compose myself and hide behind an indifferent facade.

"Why, Spencer? Is there really any reason you could give me that could convince me that staying here with you is actually the best thing to do?"

"I can! I mean, I have one…just- Ashley, I need time. I've always needed time for these kinds of things and you know that. You can't tell me you love me and expect me to just be okay with it because I'm not and I'm not gonna be for a while. You tell me you're into me when I just start getting comfortable with the idea of being with another girl. Then when I'm trying to separate the difference between my feelings for Nathan and Brooke, you sweep in and steal Brooke away. So now we have to add in the jealousy I'm feeling because you two decided to make out. Ashley, did you ever think why I chose Brooke? Were you completely ignoring me when I told you how much alike the two of you are? Think about it for a second, Ashley. Why the hell would I go out with someone that is pretty much your clone?"

The words cause me to mentally stumble and my silence spurs Spencer on.

"I can't go out with you Ashley. I cannot lose you."

The words are hard to stomach and I find it hard to believe that Spencer might have even the slightest doubts about our relationship.

Suddenly, my knees are buckling and I step backwards, my hands fumbling to find purchase behind me to help hold me up.

Spencer reaches out a hand to steady me but I take another step back because I really can't be intoxicated by her presence right now.

I see the hurt in her eyes and before I know it, I'm enveloping her in my arms and comforting her.

Was there any doubt that this was going to happen?

There shouldn't be because anyone who's spent five minutes with Spencer and I know that I couldn't walk away from the girl even if I tried.

"Nothing is going to make you walk away from you. Now, stop crying and let's go inside."

I lead Spencer inside the flat and she takes a seat on one end of our couch. Walking over to the fridge, I pull out two bottles of water and hand one over to the blonde before taking a seat on the opposite end of the sofa.

Although I notice the corners of Spencer's lips frown slightly, I ignore it and take a swig of the bottle.

There is an awkward silence that befalls the room and I, for one, have no idea on what I'm supposed to be doing because awkward conversations with Spencer are like walking in on your parents doing the nasty.

It's just not supposed to happen.

I fiddle with the cap on my water bottle and stare at my hands and anywhere else that isn't Spencer. I'm sure she's doing the same until suddenly the silence is broken.

"Where's Brooke?"

I'm caught off-guard by the question because it was the last thing I was expecting and I stumble over my words as my brain works double-time to catch up.

"Oh- uh- she left. A while ago actually."

Spencer furrows her eyebrow and I stifle the desire to smooth the wrinkles away with my fingertips.

"How? We were in the front of the door the whole time."

I scratch the back of my neck, before deciding to just tell Spencer the truth.

"She jumped out my window and army crawled to her car while we were arguing."

"Oh."

"Yup."

"Smart girl."

There is another beat of silence before Spencer makes eye contact with me and the giggles start up deep inside our stomachs, bubbling to the surface and spilling over until we're clutching at our sides, our chests heaving and our faces flushed.

The awkwardness has passed and I don't think I've ever been more grateful before.

However, there is a little thought that's been nagging at my mind and shyly, I muster up enough courage to request an answer, "Spence?"

The blonde doesn't open her eyes but turns her head to acknowledge that she hears me, "Hmm?"

"I was wondering something…"

"Mmm-hmm?"

"Did I, like, mess up my chance with you now?"

Spencer's eyes flutter open and she gazes into my eyes with an intensity I've never seen before in my life.

She keeps gazing at me and at one point I feel as if she's managed to worm her way inside my head and listen to my inner most thoughts. When she speaks, her voice is so soft that I almost miss it in the beginning.

"Before I do anything, Ashley, I need to figure out if this whole girl crushing thing is a onetime deal or not. It started with you because everything important in my life always has so what would make this the one exception to the rule? I noticed your touches, your kisses, your every little expression in a totally different perspective. I want you Ashley, but I don't think I could live with myself if I ended up hurting you. I know what I did was wrong but you offered me something that I had only dreamt about and what if the next morning; it wasn't there for me anymore? It was wrong, I know! But I can't take it back and there's a part of me that really doesn't want to. I kissed you Ashley Davies, and it was everything I imagined it to be and so so much more."

A smile emerges on my face and my gaze drops to the floor as a rosy tint appears on my cheeks.

"What about Nathan?"

Spencer frowns again and tilts her head to the side in thought, "Well…I'll probably see him again. I have to figure out what I'm feeling and having both a guy and a girl in the picture might be helpful."

Anger begins to build up in my system but I push it down and try to convince Spencer otherwise.

"No, you don't. That's not fair to him, Spencer!"

It's not fair to me is more like it. Like I actually care how Monkey boy feels.

"I highly doubt he even remembers my name, Ashley. I'm also pretty certain he has more girls than just me on his plate at the moment."

Suddenly, the thought of Spencer and Nathan in bed together begins to assault my mind. I swallow hard, willing myself not to gag aloud at the mental image and voice my concern to the worried blonde.

"No! Of course not! We never got past making out really. He's a bit of a jerk if you haven't noticed and too much of an asshole for me to go through with something that drastic."

"Then why go through any of this at all!?!" I shriek at the unsuspecting blonde because really, I've had it today. I've reached my level of understanding and I'm going to be as selfish as I want to be for the rest of today.

Spencer flinches at the sudden outburst and I immediately deflate.

My body slumps on the couch and I take in a shaky breath.

"Listen, Spence. I- uh- I think I should spend some time over at Kyla's."

The blonde's head jerks up and she looks panicked and terrified that I could even be suggesting such a thing.

When she opens her mouth to say something, I hold up a hand to silence her because we all know that one word from her mouth and my resolve would crumble immediately.

"I think we both need time to think this through clearly and I just think, err, well I know that it's better if I go."

I stand up and leave the room, gently closing my bedroom door behind me. After sending a quick text to Kyla, letting her know what had just happened, I pulled out a small bag and began packing whatever I wanted to take with me.

Fifteen minutes later, I quietly made my way back into the living room only to find Spencer in the same spot with her head in her hands. She glances up at me and her red rimmed eyes cause my heart to lurch and my stomach to drop.

I clear my throat and gesture to the bag unnecessarily, "I- ahem- I'm ready now, so I guess I'm going to head out now."

Spencer nods weakly and stands, her body swaying slightly. I resist the urge to reach over and steady her and instead focus my concentration on the front door and willing my feet to move in that direction.

I spare one last glance at Spencer, standing there with her arms wrapped around herself as if she was cold or trying to protect herself from something."

**Or someone.**

The thought left a bad taste in my mouth and I pulled open the front door only to be pulled back inside.

Soft lips brushed up against mine and the sweetest voice breathed over my tingling lips.

"I'm trying, Ash. I swear I am."

My eyes flutter open in time to see her bedroom door closing and I let out a sigh before walking out of the flat and closing the front door behind me.

My front door.

All of a sudden, I'm overwhelmed and I find myself unable to stand straight. Slumping against the door, I swallow a sob and whisper brokenly to no one at all.

"For my sake, Spencer. Try harder."

**Reviews are love :)**


	11. Forever&Almost Always

**Dedicated to my readers, my reviewers, and everyone else who has given this story a chance. **

**A/N: Alright, I have a legit excuse. Sort of…for a while I just hated this story. I didn't know what I wanted to write and worse I didn't know how to write anything. Anywhoo, then I got into an accident in the first week of June and this time I wasn't so lucky. I was coming home from a friend's graduation and some idiot swerved into my lane and hit me head on. My car ended up flipping and I actually was found unconscious. That was on a Thursday night…I didn't wake up til Saturday night so you can see it was pretty serious.. I had a concussion and I broke three of my ribs…which hurts like a bitch to be honest. So…I've been recuperating and I finally managed to come out with something to offer you guys. It sucks, I hate it, but it's all I have and I apologize for that. **

**On with the story!**

It's been three weeks since I left the house.

The first week was hell seeing as Spencer and I hadn't talked at all.

The second week had been almost as worse until Spencer had shyly called late one night explaining that she missed me.

The third week was an awkward one seeing that Spencer and I had only had conversations that bordered uncomfortable.

This wasn't going the way I had planned on it going.

Now I'm sitting here in the studio, tapping a pencil on the table and glaring at the complaining artist.

"Listen, I just don't understand what else you want from me!" Darren, an upcoming artist Kyla had discovered, storms in the room frustrated.

Gripping the pencil, I stand up barking at the unexpecting artist. "We're asking you to work harder. You aren't pushing yourself like you used to."

"I'm trying Ashley! I really am!"

_Soft lips brushed up against mine and the sweetest voice breathes over my tingling lips._

"_I'm trying, Ash. I swear I am."_

The familiar words shoot through my anger and the pencil snaps suddenly in my hand. "THEN TRY HARDER!"

Tears spring to my eyes and I rush out of the studio, the quick tapping of heels behind me alerting me to Kyla's pursuit.

Reaching my car, I slip inside quickly when I hear the passenger door open and my sister climbing in.

"Get out, Kyla."

"No." Her voice was strong and determined very much the opposite of my own wavering one.

"Kyla, please. I don't think you understand-"

"Are you fucking kidding me? No-no-no. I don't understand? I've been listening to you cry every single night since you moved in with me. Three weeks of hearing my older sister sob over someone who still isn't trying. I'm the only one who _**would**_ understand Ashley."

I watch as Kyla rushes out of the car and back inside the studio. Anger floods through me and I slam a fist against the steering wheel.

"Fuck!"

My hand throbbed in pain but I couldn't force myself to see past my self-loathing rage. I need Kyla now more than ever and I need to make this okay.

Sighing, I step out of my car and drudgingly walk through the doors of the building and inside the occupied studio.

Two sets of eyes meet mine the moment I step inside: Kyla's angry unforgiving gaze and the artist's frightened nervous gaze.

"I'm sorry. Everyone, I just- I've been having a rough couple of weeks and I didn't mean to take it out on you." I rub the back of my neck sheepishly and sneak a glance at the two people in the room.

Darren walks toward me resting a heavy yet oddly comforting hand on my shoulder, " 's okay, Ash. Stuff happens to everyone and that includes you so I'm pretty sure we can let it slide this time. So how about we go through the song one more time and do it just the way you want? I really think we can nail it this time."

I look up and grin at the young artist's genuine compassion and nod my head, still not meeting Kyla's gaze. I know I hurt her and this time, I really do think I might have pushed her too far this time.

Pulling out a worn book, I motion Darren to come over to me and point out a page, "Here look at this one. I really think it's better than the one we're trying right now."

Darren takes the book into his hands and nods eagerly, pushing the nearby guitar in my hands and telling me to strum out the beginning chords.

The soft sound filled the room and I nodded at the young artist to read the lyrics.

_We were young and wild and free  
Fighting in a love we couldn't leave  
Even on the way down, even on the way down  
You were standing there in your bare feet  
Seeing in your eyes you wouldn't leave  
Even on the way down, even on the way down_

It's out of my hands  
Breaking your heart  
Letting you go and it's my fault  
Fooling ourselves, there's no easy way out  
When is it over?

So many things that I should say  
If it even mattered anyway  
The war has long been lost  
Two sad souls that can't count the cost  
With love it's just an open flame  
We burn ourselves just to feel the pain  
Oh when it over now when is it over now  
Over now over now over

"Wow." Kyla breathes out from behind me.

Without looking back at her, I stood up shakily. "Could you help Darren record that, Ky? I need a break."

At her agreement, I walk silently out of the room and into my private section of the studio. Walking inside, I take a seat on the stool in front of the piano. I pull out a small folded paper out of my pocket and smooth it out in front of me.

_So the story goes on down a less traveled road.  
It's a variation on the one I was told,  
And although it's not the same, It's awful close._

_Yeah  
In an ordinary fairy tale land,  
There's a promise of a perfect happy end.  
And I imagine having just short of that,  
Is better than nothing_

So you'll be my Forever and Almost Always,  
And I'll be fine, just love me when you can  
And I'll wait patiently, I'll wake up every day  
Just hoping that you still care

In the corner of my mind, I know too well,  
Oh that surely even I, deserve the best  
But instead of leaving, I just put the issue to bed,  
And out of my head,  
Oh and just when I believe, you've changed for good.  
Well you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would  
When I've run out of second chances, you give me that look,  
And you're off the hook,

You'll be my Forever and Almost Always,  
It ain't right to just love me when you can  
I won't wait patiently, or wake up everyday  
Just hoping that you'll still care  
Forever and Almost Always,  
No it ain't right to just love me when you can, baby  
Ain't gonna wait patiently, I won't wake up every day just hoping that you still care.

"Ash?"

I tear myself away from the piano and stumble over my feet, cursing at myself for the obvious clumsiness I had recently acquired.

"Uh- hi, Spencer. What are you doing here?"

The blonde shrugs and walks in, "I was in the neighborhood and thought you might like some coffee."

She smiles sheepishly, holding up a cup before handing it to me.

"Spencer, there's nothing in the neighborhood. We're in the middle of nowhere…"

The blonde looks away and takes a seat by the piano, "Oh, right. So…?"

I scrutinize Spencer, watching the way she pulls at the loose string on her shirt, the way she won't meet my gaze, the distance she's put between of us. This is how it's been whenever we've seen each other and I never thought that we could have gone from the touchy feely best friends we used to be to this.

But then again, here we are.

"About that song…it's really good."

I perk up and look at the girl in front of me who still finds her converse sneakers much more interesting than me. "What song?"

"The one that you were singing right before I came in. Who is it for?"

"Ahh- no one. I have to go back to work, Spence, sorry." Panicking, I begin to look for a way out because explaining that the song is about her is not something I was planning on telling Spencer…ever.

The blonde's face falls and she nods, "O-oh. That's fine. I just-"

"You just what?"

"Ashley, I uh- I was hoping to ask you something."

Watching the other girl warily, I encouraged her to go on.

Spencer tilts her head, eyebrows furrowing. "I miss you. Ash, all I've done these three weeks is think things between and now I want to do something about it instead."

"Like what?"

"I want to take you out on a first date. I want to do this the right way so Ashley Davies, would you please accompany me to dinner and a movie, and if time permits, ice cream, this Friday night?"

I'm standing there gaping, I know I am but the sound of Spencer's giggles snap me out of the trance. "Absolutely! I mean, uh yeah sure. That sounds like fun."

Spencer breaks out into a huge grin and I can't help but smile back at her.

The blonde starts leaning towards me and I feel my eyes flutter closed when she enters my personal space. I lick my lips unconsciously and part them slightly in anticipation when I feel a pair of soft lips press against my cheek.

Spencer pulls away slowly, dragging her lips to the shell of my ear. "Let's save the actual kissing til our first date."

She winks at me on her way out, her crystal blue eyes twinkling brightly.

Three days until Friday.

Three days until our date.

Three days until I can finally breathe again.

I can wait.

**Reviews are love :)**


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